Thursday, January 15, 2009

Why are people so nosy?

The past six months have been incredibly difficult for me. I had a major depressive episode and decided to hospitalize myself before anything worse happened. I know people are used to me engaging in certain ways but I never thought that it was overtly noticeable outside a tight group of friends. Well I have found that there are people I know that just must know every single detail. I had thought about keeping my treatment to myself. It really is nobody's business but mine in the first place. Then I thought that I was maybe doing a disservice to people who need education about solutions other than drugs for depressive episodes. I go three times a week, for a total of 12 - 15 times for electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) at Swedish hospital. I am given a powerful muscle relaxant by IV and then a small amount of electricity is applied to my brain to cause a seizure. The whole thing takes less than an hour. I have residual headaches and some memory loss as a consequence. I truly can say that I have not felt better in years and years. Doctors are not sure why this therapy works and I imagine it may not for everybody. All I can say is that it has made an incredible difference to my quality of life. I will not be ashamed for undergoing this therapy. ECT needs to be taken out of the closet as an alternative therapy. This has literally saved my life. It was just a matter of time before I had a successful suicide attempt. I am half way through the treatment program and my life is like brand new to me. I now know some real happiness in my life. This has brought Eric and I even closer as he helps to take care of me. For anybody out there who has a loved one that is not responding well to medication I urge you to look into this. I'm ignoring the nosy people for now; let them talk and make their judgements. They don't mean a whole lot to me in the long run.