Getting frustrated and bitching about stuff is not new to me. When somebody doesn’t use proper English, either spoken or written, it makes my head explode. When some douchebag drives down I-5 going 65 in the fast lane I could easily punch them in the face. However these are rather minor things in life and the frustration soon fades away at least until I encounter the next dumbass in my journey through life. What I can’t understand are the people who take frustration and bitching to the level of Olympic sport. These are the people whether by happenstance or choice are ALWAYS pissed off and complaining. The line at McDonald’s moved to slow, the plumber screwed them over, their new phone is defective, their neighbor’s dog barks constantly, it’s raining, it’s too cold, it’s too hot and the granddaddy of them all….the Navy is specifically targeting them to make their life a living hell. What exactly does that constant complaining solve? All I can tell is that it makes the people around them want to duct tape them to a tree and shoot them with a paintball gun. Repeatedly.
No person is perfect and no life is perfect. The constant challenge in this journey is to take the adversity we come across and deal with it in a way that doesn’t cause up to grab a rifle and start mowing people down at the local grocery store. There are three basic rules in life. 1. Life is not fair. Never was and never will be. 2. Knowing and accepting rule #1 can go a long way in having a wonderful and fulfilling life. 3. A sense of humor and whimsy go one hell of a long way in making life fabulous. I pretty much let rule #3 run my life. I believe there is little in life that you can’t make entertaining in some fashion. That way might be kind of bizarre to some people but hey, you have to do what you have to do. Did you know that some people think I am clinically insane because I carry Edward everywhere? Let me tell you right now, that is NOT the reason I am clinically insane. I am just having fun with the life I have right now since this life can be filled with uncertainty at times.
One of the greatest lessons I ever learned was in 1995 when I took the Basic Ombudsman Class. I was told that the best way to live in the Navy was to live by the Semper Gumby rule. Always be flexible. Life in the Navy isn’t always fair or even reasonably sane but if you can be flexible it can be extremely rewarding. It took some years to really understand that but now; as I’ve gotten older I truly live by that motto. Shit just happens. No need to be paranoid about it or go batshit insane. Better to just go with the flow and save yourself a lot of pain and aggravation in situations that are completely out of your control. What you can always control is your reaction to the various shitty things life throws you. I wasn’t overjoyed that the job Eric took was in Virginia but instead of bitching about it I accepted reality. Reality was that he needed to get there in a short amount of time and the rest of us just weren’t going to be able to go. In addition, this is the man that I love more than life itself and he happens to love his job. What I needed to do was to deal with it in a way that was good for him, me, and the kids. I have dealt with it pretty well but now I realize that I’m not particularly enamored of the fact that my husband will probably spend the rest of his career on the East Coast while I am here on the West Coast. I could whine about the fact that the Navy doesn’t have a job for him here. I could ask him to give up a job he loves to make my life easier. I could moan and wail about how horrible my life is to anybody that will listen or look at my status on Facebook. What I am going to do is look into what options I have to get to the East Coast. I know I won’t like all of them and I know this is not going to be fun or remotely easy but what in life is? (Unless you are talking about drinking with your girlfriends, that’s always fun and easy.) I may bitch about it in passing or feel frustrated that the housing market sucks to sell a house right now but I refuse to let it consume me. I just can’t understand the people who expend so much energy complaining. If they could just put half of that energy into changing the way they are looking at life then they would be so much better off. Life is finite and I’m not going to waste any of it. I figured out a long time ago that the only way to get the life you want it to grab it for yourself. To focus on what makes us happy and fulfilled instead of always being Debbie Downer. I saw a shirt recently that said “If life gives you lemons, demand salt and tequila”. That pretty much sums up my philosophy.
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2 comments:
Tell me how you really feel... One thing I have to keep reminding myself to keep in mind is the maturity level of some people. Even those who have the age do not always have the mental fortitude to deal with this lifestyle. I think being entrenched in the navy culture actually retards the mental and emotional growth of some. You will find that those who have their own lives outside of their spouses' careers are much more able to deal with the challenges and stresses of navy life. Although I have to say, if life offers ME lemons, I will be demanding a Malibu Bucket and a little paper umbrella, bitch red if you got it!!
Sounds like you are reading my mind. I think "I" actually typed this update for you while I was having my own kind of pity party. As always, my parties include Vodka Lime Tonics and chips with salsa. :)
To quote a facebook comment on my own page recently, a friend of mine said that I lead the funnest life and do it with my boys. I replied that I try to make the best of it. Having their daddy gone sucks big time! Finding time to make "happy" moments is really important to me. ♥
You can't just put your life on hold while he is gone. Get out and find those happy moments. You deserve it, your kids deserve it, and your relationship with your husband deserves it.
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